Just another soldier on the road to nowhere...

Truth of the Heart

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 16:37:48 GMT

What's the point of being nice when everything goes well?

What do you do when things go wrong?

Insecurity, truthfulness, faithfulness are the most important aspects in a relationship. Which have you managed to achieve?

What matters most is the heart. Substance over form. Is talking to a random stranger from Skype wrong? Throw your damn beliefs out the window. Your actions and silence when things go wrong. Ask yourself and look yourself in the mirror. Mistakes made in part 1, part 2 and part 3. Is your anger greater than your longing to see me? Do you only want to see me when things go well?

What's the purpose of a relationship? To be committed to the person? To tie someone down...? Can someone be in a relationship yet not know what true love is? Can someone be in love and remain committed despite not being in a relationship? Love is not a jail sentence. Love is giving and receiving. Understanding without judging. A commitment without the ties that bind each other to the relationship. I have remained committed throughout the mistakes. Relationship or not. Throw the relationship out the door. You just don't know what love is.

I have said enough.

Merry Christmas!

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 05:28:38 GMT

Happiness consists not in having, but of being, not of possessing, but of enjoying.
It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with itself.

Why Teens Don't Care

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 01:34:35 GMT

If you ever sense teenagers are not taking your feelings into account, it's probably because they're just incapable of doing so.

The area of the brain associated with higher-level thinking, empathy, and guilt is underused by teenagers, reports a new study. When considering an action, the teenage medial prefrontal cortex, located in front of the brain, doesn't get as much action as adults.

"Thinking strategies change with age," said Sarah-Jayne Blakemore of the University College London Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience. "As you get older you use more or less the same brain network to make decisions about your actions as you did when you were a teenager, but the crucial difference is that the distribution of that brain activity shifts from the back of the brain (when you are a teenager) to the front (when you are an adult)."

Teen thinking

In the study, teens and adults were asked how they would react to certain situations. As they responded, researchers imaged their brains.

Although both adults and teens responded similarly to the questions, their brain activity differed. The medial prefrontal cortex was much more active in the adults than in the teens. However, the teenagers had much more activity in the superior temporal sulcus, the brain area involved in predicting future actions based on previous ones.

Adults were also much faster at figuring out how their actions would affect themselves and other people.

"We think that a teenager's judgment of what they would do in a given situation is driven by the simple question: 'What would I do?'" Blakemore said. "Adults, on the other hand, ask: 'What would I do, given how I would feel and given how the people around me would feel as a result of my actions?'"

Developing sensitivity

Children start taking into account other people's feelings around the age of five. But the ability develops well beyond this age, the new research suggests.

And while some of this sensitivity could be the result of undeveloped regions in the brain, the experience that adults acquire from social interactions also plays an important role.

"Whatever the reasons, it is clear that teenagers are dealing with, not only massive hormonal shifts, but also substantial neural changes," Blakemore said. "These changes do not happen gradually and steadily between the ages of 0–18. They come on in great spurts and puberty is one of the most dramatic developmental stages."

The River

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 06:47:04 GMT

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all...yes

Learning To Love The Person You Found

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 02:31:11 GMT

This is so essential that I couldn't help nicking it. No matter if you are beginning a relationship, or in the middle of one, please never forget this. Don't start the relationship thinking that it might end soon. Give yourself the chance to have a lifetime of happiness. If you look for an escape road, or choose not to commit yourself entirely in the relationship, chances are that it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You need to shift away from the "all men are shit" attitude. No matter how many failures we have had, we all hope for the one person who will be with us forever. May you find that someone and live in bliss forever.
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"How does one know if he is in relationship with the right person?"

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their call, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love isn't hard. In fact, it is a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a period of being together in a relationship (str8 or gay), the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your own, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you and your partner reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. People blame their partner for their unhappiness and look outside their relationship for fulfillment.

** NOTE: Extra-marital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner) to succeed with your relationship.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make it stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.

Love is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling....

In Howard's words....

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 03:18:17 GMT

IT is a simple question: 'Why do you like me?'

But there is something about it that sends guys into red-alert mode when they hear it.

Notice this is a question that is only asked by women?

You never hear a guy whispering to his girlfriend: 'Oh (insert pet name), I'm sorry we fought, I'm so lucky to have you, why do you like me?'

Instead, what usually happens is that as the guy is drifting off to sleep, happily content with tuning off his brain, the woman nudges him and says: 'That was such a silly thing we fought over earlier today. Why do you like me?'

SIMPLE ANSWER

The guy, in his desire to want to sleep, will tell the truth: 'I don't know, I just do.'

A simple and very honest answer.

But that's never enough.

The girl will follow up with: 'No really, why do you like me?'

And that's the moment that sets off the alarm bells because this is a question along the same lines as 'Do I look fat in this?'

There is just no way to answer this properly.

It is as if the woman is setting herself up for disappointment. Why is she even asking the question?

My speculation is that it is for validation. It's the female trait of wanting emotions to be expressed and having words seal the bond between two people.

But you know what goes through the guy's mind whenever he hears this question?

'Uh-oh, I better come up with a good answer.'

This is what I think a girl would like to hear: 'I like you because you're a free spirit, you push the boundaries of my thinking and when I'm with you I feel like I'm in the midst of dazzling fireworks.

'I like how my eyes are drawn to you, I like the way you muss up my hair, I like how you can't help but get crumbs everywhere when you eat French toast.

'And most of all, I like that when you're glum or when you're happy, or when you see something that catches your eye, I'm the person you have come to share your story with.'

But ladies, face it, that's never going to happen.

Not unless the guy has the innate skill of rattling off movie lines or song lyrics.

Mostly, his response will be something like this: 'I like you because, you know, you're nice and we have fun together, and uh, I think you're pretty.'

And I think that answer is absolutely fine because really, isn't it the small specific things that we like about another person that matters? Isn't attraction more about a grand feeling that's almost indescribable?

ROMANTIC CHOICE

What's more romantic? Having a five-point list of the traits you like in a person or having some kind of intrinsic bond that defies description?

I think the latter is much better, and I also think that what guys look for in their partners in a broader sense, is a 'whole package' kind of deal where one doesn't isolate specific things they like or dislike.

But what happens when a woman hears this answer?

It always seems like she has this look on her face: 'He just likes me for my looks, he doesn't notice the little things I do for him, we don't connect on a certain level.'

It leads to uncertainty when the reason for her question is to validate that the guy does truly like her.

So the next time I'm in this situation and a girl asks 'Do you still like me? I just want some validation', I'll tell her: 'Yes. And I'll even tell you why I like you - because you don't ask ridiculous questions.'

Read me a story of old...

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:53:56 GMT

I told a good friend before that even when relationships sour, and things go bad, the memories will still remain. Take the good memories with the bad memories, for they are a part of you. Don't try to wipe away parts of your life. I asked him to promise that should anything happen, he wouldn't take the quickest escape route and disappear. When things really turned bad, I asked for 2 things... It would be nice to see the highway restored, even if all the bricks have already been transferred elsewhere.

The clock is ticking... There's not much time left.

The Cage

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 13:14:09 GMT

You broke the bread
We drank the wine
Your lip was bleeding but it was fine
Come on inside, babe, across the line
I love you more than I...

But then this bird just flew away
She was never meant to stay
Oh to keep her caged
Would just delay the spring

You broke your word
Now there's a lie
We had a deal that you would try
Come on inside girl, I think it's time
High time you drew the line

But then this bird just flew away
While I looked the other way
Oh to keep her caged
Would just delay the spring

You broke my soul, dear
You stole the plot
You left an empty shot
But there's nothing left here
Cos you took the lot
An empty cage is all I've got

Good advise

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 15:16:58 GMT

Are you afraid of getting hurt?
Are you afraid of hurting others?
Do you leap before you look?
Opportunity lost, would never come back.
Now, or never.

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 05:20:52 GMT

Happy V-Day.

Brokeback Mountain

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 13:15:11 GMT

Most people are searching to fill a void. They yearn to be understood with just a touch. Ennis and Jack are empty men until they find each other one summer on Brokeback Mountain in the 1960s. Ennis, raised by his brother and sister from a young age and then forced to go out on his own, hardly says a word. Jack is a dreamer, constantly yearning for a better life. It’s in each other that they find a way to fill the void.

One cold night, after drinking by the fire, Jack and Ennis fall asleep in the tent. In a drunken stupor, they kiss and quickly have sex. Just like that. Bam! Hard, quick, cold. For a while, it seems all they want is a warm body to keep them from being lonely. It’s not until they part ways, and Ennis backs into a corner breaking into a sob that they clearly had something more going on.

The movie is about the life you wish you could live. The one just out of reach, in which you know you’d be happy if you could just get there. For Jack and Ennis, that life is running off together and living on a ranch together. Just the two of them. Or, so Jack insists, that’s the way they can be happy. But Ennis knows it can never happen. He sets himself firmly in reality. And so they go on, struggling and searching for the next thing that might fill the void. Marrying women. Having children. Going to Mexico and sleeping with a male prostitute. Still, that pesky void is there, haunting them. Only when Jack and Ennis are together, alone, can they be happy. But they’re time together is limited, and leaves them unhappier than ever.

Towards the end of the movie, Jack says, “I wish I knew how I could quit you.” He finds his way: he dies. And he has to be the one to go, because if Ennis died, Jack would be so heartbroken, there would be no way he could last in this world. It’s Ennis who must be left behind, because he’s always been the one to face the world head on.

The story of Jack and Ennis is universal. The fact that they’re both men is merely circumstantial. Whether it’s Romeo and Juliet, or Romeo and Romeo, or Juliet or Juliet, is of no consequence. What matters is the story about their love for one another, and the pain they must endure to keep that love alive. It’s the same in any love story.

What is Love? Part 2

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 06:47:47 GMT

Love does not need an explanation.

Cos the sum of the factors is always greater than the individual parts.

I just don't know how to quit you...

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 11:32:14 GMT

Saw this post on someone's journal. Talks about moving on... What is my intention for copying this here? Hmm... take it in whatever way you want to...

Finally saw him after three weeks.
Thought I would have alot to say.
But when I saw him, I realised that everything is alright.
Nothing matters anymore.
I thought I would cling onto it for a long time before letting go.
But at then, I just let go.
I didn't even stay to send him off.
I just said, "Take care ok? Bon Voyage".
That was it...

I left 10mins after I arrived.
I left with something still heavy on my mind.
But as I descend to the lower level where the arrival hall was.
My mood ascended.
There were so many smiling faces.
So many hugs.
Some even cried on the sight of their loved ones emerging amongst the crowd.
Pushing their trolleys, they joke, laughed, exclaimed, sighed, smiled and talked.
Shoulder to shoulder.
As drama as it sounds.
It was all true.

I forgot how uplifting it was to receive someone you love from the airport.
Ironically.
I sent off the person I loved from the airport.

I had loved.
I was disappointed.
I forgave.
I matured further.

Memories I will keep.
Future footsteps I will tread more carefully.

Voices in my head...

"Keke, my hubby..." "I larp you!" "I missed you so muuccch" "Eeeh... So lomantic" "I feel you are the one I can live with together"

Fading... away...

I Don't Want to Count Anymore

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 09:32:06 GMT

You were right
And I don't wanna be here
If your gonna be there
Was that supposed to happen

I'll hold tight
I'll remember to smile
Though it has been a while
And without you does it matter

There's no room
No place to start
When our souls are apart

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here
I'm counting down the days

How've you been
It's just the usual here
And days are feeling like years
And every day's without you

Now I cry
Just a little too much
When I think of your touch
And everything about you

I feel cold
I'm in the dark
When our souls are apart

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here
I'm counting down the days

I'm counting down the days
I'm counting down the days

Is there someone out there?

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 08:32:08 GMT

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

What is Love?

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 15:57:07 GMT

1. Love waits patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.

It does not complain and blame, but rather reacts with patience and understanding.

2. Love is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.

It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.

3. Love seeks to encourage and build up others.

It respects the feelings and emotions of others..

It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.

4. Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive.

5. Love is patient with the faults of others.

It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others.

6. Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

7. Love always Perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love.

8. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.

9. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self-centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"

10. Love is forgiving.

It doesn't hold grudges when it has been wronged.

It doesn't remain resentful.

Love forgets past failures and sins.

Always Have A Dream

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 16:45:33 GMT

Forget about the days
when it's been cloudy,
but don't forget your hours in the sun.

Forget about the times
you've been defeated,
but don't forget the victories you've won.

Forget about the mistakes
that you can't change now,
but don't forget the lessons.

Forget about the misfortunes
you've encountered,
but don't forget the times
your luck has turned.

Forget about the days
when you've been lonely,
but don't forget the friendly
smiles you've seen......

Forget about the plans
that didn't seem to work out right,
but don't forget to always have a dream